... hard work.
We don't get what we wish for. We get what we work for.
I tell my clients that every day. It doesn't mean that coming into your health and goal body composition is some jaw clenching, pain-inducing, sweating-bullets, puking and crying grind.
It's actually the opposite: you begin to see all the potential you've buried beneath layers of excess body fat, binging, starving, impulsive emotional eating, moodiness, insane crash dieting and metabolic derangement.
Or you realize you forgot how powerful your ability to achieve truly is.
Sometimes "hard work" means being willing to break things down into simple parts (like how a body becomes healthy to build muscle and burn fat easily). It means being willing to shift your paradigms from gullibly swallowing marketing messages to uncovering the actual science. Hard work means personal responsibility and accountability.
No one force fed you the things that brought you short-term satisfaction and long-term sickness, shame, self-consciousness, regret, and misery. No one can force you to authentically change, either. Not with any kind of real success.
Maybe hard work means creating a real life versus a virtual one. Maybe it means choosing to believe you can master the processes to achieve your goals in spite of every obstacle and negative opinion around you.
Maybe hard work means deciding you're worth the time and investment in yourself. There are a million paths to the same destination. You don't get there on a treadmill and they're not 100% smooth sailing.
It's okay to wish for a stronger, healthier body or anything else: partner, relationships, job, car, income, mental/emotional health. And it's comforting to know wishes come true with work.
But sometimes we're not serious enough about our wishes to find ourselves worthy of the time and investment in ourselves it takes. Maybe it scares us. Maybe we're afraid of how the people around us will change when we start to realize our strength, spread our wings and shed the burden of dead weight.
Maybe it scares them, too. That's why they tell you you won't succeed. Or mock you. Deep down, they fear your strength and how it will expose their weaknesses. They won't have you to point their fingers at anymore. You'll have moved on to a higher a level and they'll be left with a ruthless mirror.
Once you know what it means to work hard for yourself, you no longer settle for mediocre ANYTHING.
I get a lot of emails full of wishes ("I want to fit in a bikini by next month but I've been poisoning myself with garbage for twenty years!"). I receive very few that talk about work, owning behavior and wanting to learn.
Some people balk when they contact me for pricing on one-on-one coaching. Some get down right hostile. And that's okay. I'm not on sale.
Just like anything we truly want, we save over time, work extra, move mountains to make it possible. I guess I'm old school. I believe we value more the things we work for than the things handed to us or we get on the cheap.
We all know someone still living in their parent's basement playing video games, pissing their lives away as if this wasn't the only life they have (at least in this body if that's what you believe). That's their right. Being average is the easiest thing in the world. So is becoming sick and overweight. You don't even have to try.
Nobody walks into a Maserati dealership and yells at the salesperson for not selling them a top-of-the-line performance driving machine for the price of a used jalopy. Maybe it will take years, but if you want to be in the Maserati, you will. And you're going to take care of it because you invested so much in earning it.
Here's something I learned from Tony Robbins that applies to just about any woman (athlete or not) I've worked with. I do not doubt this applies to you somewhere in your life:
"The dog bit Johnny. Johnny bit the dog. Same exact words. Different syntax. Totally different experience, especially if you're Johnny.
People don't realize that sometimes when they think, 'I'm thirty pounds overweight and I've tried everything. Or, every relationship sucks. How do I end up with men or women like this? Or, this is my third business and I'm still not there. I don't think it's going to happen!'
These people do not realize how near victory is. And the reason is:
It feels a million miles away. Here's why it's not happening. Because they're doing the right things at the wrong time. Or, they're doing the right things in the wrong sequence. The dog bit Johnny. Johnny bit the dog. Sequence means everything. Timing is invaluable."This applies to the No Fail Fat Burning for Women protocol and using food as fuel to burn fat. It applies to just about everything worth achieving.
When people send me emails about how adamantly serious they are and please, please, please will I take a month away from my private life, training, career, activities, family and friends to work with them daily on helping them achieve their goals, yet ask me to put myself on sale to meet their needs, it tells me a few things:
- The price tag they place on the most important thing to their existence -- their health -- belongs in a clearance bin. They're not serious about healing their bodies for the long term. They're serious about working a bargain for a quick fix. Pass.
- They demand I devalue my time while asking me to bring 150% dedication, investment, knowledge, work, and commitment to their goals, every day for 30 days. Please see above about settling for mediocrity. Pass.
- Those who invest in anything at bargain basement rates have no problem quitting. They've left no skin in the game. They will not succeed. They have nothing to lose except body fat. And they won't be losing that without a hard-earned investment in themselves.They've been consistent quitters before and they're more than likely to be a quitter again.
When you don't bring 100% work ethic, responsibility, investment, and unwavering determination to the party, you waste your time -- and that's your right.
And you waste your money -- also your right.
But you waste my time -- that is not your right. And when you resemble one, three or all of the points mentioned above, no self-respecting person who knows their worth will not dedicate themselves to your wishes.
The value of what I invest in the women I work with cannot be priced in any currency.
Can I help you achieve your goals? Yes. I can save you a lot of time. We can pull the weeds together. I'll ride shotgun along side you.
Am I the only one who can help you achieve your goals? No. You can do it. There a lot of other people and resources out there who can help you along the way.
Are you the only one who decides if you achieve your goals? Yes.
Are you the only one who decides if you remain overweight and out of shape? Yes.
We don't get what we wish for. We get what we work for.